Dear Fellow Mamas:
I NEED HELP.
My child hates sleep.
For my own sake, I will give you a rundown of what exactly is going and then maybe someone will have some advice?? I got some advice on how to get her into her crib awhile ago and that actually worked for the most part so I'm throwing it out there again hoping for the same results!
Here is our story...
Since we brought the little miss home, she has been a terrible sleeper. I didn't know what "normal" was for a newborn (is there such a thing?) so I just assumed it was normal and everyone around us was "lucky". She was giving us around an hour stretch at a time and every once in awhile she would give us two, but keep in mind this was only if someone was actually holding her at the time. If we laid her down she screamed. So Ryan and I spent our nights in the living room switching on and off on who would hold her. At some point it kind of became the norm and I kind of got used to it and assumed she would grow out of it.
Around 2 months we were able to actually put her down to sleep BUT ONLY if we laid with her. Literally, she had to be sleeping in the crook of my arm, basically under my armpit. It wasn't ideal but it was better than holding her. She still wouldn't give us long stretches but would maybe go 2 hours on average around this time and we were in bed so I was again, kind of ok with it. At one point, she did give us three nights (not in a row) of about 4-4.5 hour stretches..just once in a night and then up every hour after, but it gave me hope.
Then 3 months rolled around and I was trying to get her on somewhat of a schedule hoping I could eventually get her sleeping better for both naps and night time.
Around this time I also started to want her in her own crib and realized the longer we waited, the harder it would be...she wasn't sleeping anyway so why not just transition now? I got some advice on Facebook and with a little willpower, I put it to work and it *kind of* started to work. I could get her into her crib for the beginning of the night and sometimes Ryan and I would even have a couple hours to ourselves before bed.
However, she was still waking up every hour or two, like she was a newborn. This is fine when we are awake and just have to walk to her room to resettle her but in the middle of the night its exhausting and I would cave and just bring her to our bed to at least try to savor the little sleep I did get. No, she doesn't sleep any better in our bed, it just simply saves me the time and energy of walking to her room 300 times.
So here we are at 4 months.
I STILL try to get her to her bed in her crib but lately it's been absolute torture. It's like she knows it is coming and absolutely goes nuts when it's bedtime. And as if that weren't bad enough, once she is asleep, she is still waking up 8-12 times a night. The last few weeks have been worse than ever..she is up every 30-45 minutes...all.night.long.
So what gives?! What are we doing wrong?!
And just for reference...I'm not 100% against crying it out but I am a little uneasy about it because everything I read says to wait until 6 months because they don't understand the concept at this age.
With that being said...Wednesday she did cry it out by default. We did the same routine as every night and I tried to get her to bed. She absolutely refused and cried off and on for TWO hours. TWO HOURS! Ryan tried, I tried, I even put her back in our bed and tried to side lie nurse her (which she loves) and she would nurse but wouldn't sleep or if she slipped into a light sleep she would startle and wake back up. Finally I was at my breaking point and laid her in her crib and walked into the living room crying myself. It was 8:51 and I told Ryan I was going to let her cry until 9:00 mainly so I could gather myself and decide what to do next. I'll be darned..she fell asleep in about 6 minutes! Literally the 9 minutes wasn't even up and she had not only quit crying but was knocked out..probably because she had exhausted herself for 2 hours. She slept clear until 1:30 and I gave her a bottle and walked out of the room (while she was awake) and she put herself back to sleep until 345 at which point she woke up crying and ended up in our bed. Needless to say, that was the best night we have gotten basically since she's been born.
I don't know if it was a fluke or what but last night she was back to herself...fought sleep, finally went down at 7:25, awake at 8, etc. etc. etc.
OH! and naps? I have to time her awake time to about 1.5 hours and literally expend all my energy trying to get her to sleep and then I have to hold her or lay beside her throughout the entire nap because if I even sneak out of the bed or set her down, its eyes wide open and instantly awake. Awake and screaming if she hasn't been asleep long enough. I mean I know this wouldn't fly in daycare but I am not kidding when I say I honestly think she would be kicked out of daycare! Ay,ay, ay.
So mama's...I'm open to advice. What am I doing wrong, what should I be doing differently, what worked for you?! I'm not expecting her to sleep 7-7 but I feel like 8-12 times waking a night is out of hand. And the wanting sleep isn't just for selfish reasons, I feel like she's exhausting herself also!