Friday, February 28, 2014

exhausted, tired, delirious, etc. etc. etc.

Dear Fellow Mamas:


My child hates sleep.

For my own sake, I will give you a rundown of what exactly is going and then maybe someone will have some advice?? I got some advice on how to get her into her crib awhile ago and that actually worked for the most part so I'm throwing it out there again hoping for the same results!

Here is our story...

Since we brought the little miss home, she has been a terrible sleeper. I didn't know what "normal" was for a newborn (is there such a thing?) so I just assumed it was normal and everyone around us was "lucky". She was giving us around an hour stretch at a time and every once in awhile she would give us two, but keep in mind this was only if someone was actually holding her at the time. If we laid her down she screamed. So Ryan and I spent our nights in the living room switching on and off on who would hold her. At some point it kind of became the norm and I kind of got used to it and assumed she would grow out of it.

Around 2 months we were able to actually put her down to sleep BUT ONLY if we laid with her. Literally, she had to be sleeping in the crook of my arm, basically under my armpit. It wasn't ideal but it was better than holding her. She still wouldn't give us long stretches but would maybe go 2 hours on average around this time and we were in bed so I was again, kind of ok with it. At one point, she did give us three nights (not in a row) of about 4-4.5 hour stretches..just once in a night and then up every hour after, but it gave me hope.

Then 3 months rolled around and I was trying to get her on somewhat of a schedule hoping I could eventually get her sleeping better for both naps and night time.

Around this time I also started to want her in her own crib and realized the longer we waited, the harder it would be...she wasn't sleeping anyway so why not just transition now? I got some advice on Facebook and with a little willpower, I put it to work and it *kind of* started to work. I could get her into her crib for the beginning of the night and sometimes Ryan and I would even have a couple hours to ourselves before bed.

However, she was still waking up every hour or two, like she was a newborn. This is fine when we are awake and just have to walk to her room to resettle her but in the middle of the night its exhausting and I would cave and just bring her to our bed to at least try to savor the little sleep I did get. No, she doesn't sleep any better in our bed, it just simply saves me the time and energy of walking to her room 300 times.

So here we are at 4 months.

I STILL try to get her to her bed in her crib but lately it's been absolute torture. It's like she knows it is coming and absolutely goes nuts when it's bedtime. And as if that weren't bad enough, once she is asleep, she is still waking up 8-12 times a night. The last few weeks have been worse than ever..she is up every 30-45 minutes...all.night.long.

So what gives?! What are we doing wrong?!

And just for reference...I'm not 100% against crying it out but I am a little uneasy about it because everything I read says to wait until 6 months because they don't understand the concept at this age.

With that being said...Wednesday she did cry it out by default. We did the same routine as every night and I tried to get her to bed. She absolutely refused and cried off and on for TWO hours. TWO HOURS! Ryan tried, I tried, I even put her back in our bed and tried to side lie nurse her (which she loves) and she would nurse but wouldn't sleep or if she slipped into a light sleep she would startle and wake back up. Finally I was at my breaking point and laid her in her crib and walked into the living room crying myself. It was 8:51 and I told Ryan I was going to let her cry until 9:00 mainly so I could gather myself and decide what to do next. I'll be darned..she fell asleep in about 6 minutes! Literally the 9 minutes wasn't even up and she had not only quit crying but was knocked out..probably because she had exhausted herself for 2 hours. She slept clear until 1:30 and I gave her a bottle and walked out of the room (while she was awake) and she put herself back to sleep until 345 at which point she woke up crying and ended up in our bed. Needless to say, that was the best night we have gotten basically since she's been born.

I don't know if it was a fluke or what but last night she was back to herself...fought sleep, finally went down at 7:25, awake at 8, etc. etc. etc.

OH! and naps? I have to time her awake time to about 1.5 hours and literally expend all my energy trying to get her to sleep and then I have to hold her or lay beside her throughout the entire nap because if I even sneak out of the bed or set her down, its eyes wide open and instantly awake. Awake and screaming if she hasn't been asleep long enough. I mean I know this wouldn't fly in daycare but I am not kidding when I say I honestly think she would be kicked out of daycare! Ay,ay, ay.

So mama's...I'm open to advice. What am I doing wrong, what should I be doing differently, what worked for you?! I'm not expecting her to sleep 7-7 but I feel like 8-12 times waking a night is out of hand. And the wanting sleep isn't just for selfish reasons, I feel like she's exhausting herself also!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

sharing Miss Milania's stats (4 month)

Weight: 13 pounds 8 ounces
Height: 25 inches
She got shots and an oral vaccine this appointment :( but is healthy as a horse!
The best part?! HER THRUSH IS GONE!!!! wwaaaaahooooo!!! I'm so happy!
We don't go back until 6 months for her last round of bi-monthly shots.

Monday, February 24, 2014

the mommy of a 4 month old! {4 month update}

Yet another month has flown by and here we are again, giving another monthly update on Miss Milania.


First and foremost, Miss Milania has learned how to roll over BOTH ways this past month. The first time she rolled was in her crib when she went back to tummy twice. That was a Friday evening and then Monday morning she went tummy to back! She hasn't done them consecutively or even rolled back to tummy again actually, but she definitely has the hang of it. It's kinda hard to roll when you're being held all the time ;)
This past month she has really started to stand. If she's sitting in our lap, she is trying to push herself up so she can stand on our lap. When I pick her up from her changing table, she automatically goes to her feet to try to stand..its so cute.  It's tiring on our arms but she sure loves to do it!
The past month or two she has become obessed with her playmat and each day she gets older, I notice how more and more involved with it she is. We really souped it up for her and hung as many toys on it as we could and she just goes nuts over it. She used to just bat at them with her hands but now she can swing at them, grasp them, pull on them, hit them over and over so they swing, AND kick them with her feet which is her latest trick.
I mentioned last month that she doesn't like to lay back anymore and I can say were officially out of the "baby laying back" stage. The only time she wants to lay on her back is if shes playing on her floor mat, looking at her toys in her crib, or sleeping. She is not content laying in anyone's arms anymore...ever!
sitting up
her playmat
getting her diaper changed
Bella and Dezi, especially when Bella is barking or playing
all of her toys..the noisier the better!
Sophie the Giraffe
reading books
sitting in her high chair seat while mommy does dishes or eats and watching EVERYTHING she does
laying back
getting passed around from person-to-person
when anyone coughs or sneezes

She is still sporting all her 0-3 month clothes but has transitioned into a few 3-6 month sleepers due to her length! I don't see her moving up sizes for quite awhile...we tried a few 3-6 on her this week and she was swimming! Also, she's 100% into size 2 diapers now.

Ryan and I finally came to a conclusion on what we would do about feeding Miss Milania. We are going to wait until she is 6 months to do anything, and at that point we will forego the purees and jarred food and attempt Baby Led Weaning. More to come :)

I am happy to report that her fussiness has started to subside. She is still Miss High Maintenance and will cry at the drop of a dime ...if she's tired, hungry, bored, over stimulated, needs a diaper change, etc. BUT she is not full on screaming like she was so I'll take it!
Her sleep is nonexistent still. She is still up at least 10x a night and mommy is still EXHAUSTED but at least she's not screaming, right?! We'll get there...I hope.
Besides all that, we still think she is just the best thing to ever happen to us. She brings us more smiles and laughter every day than I ever thought possible.
So that's what's going on around are some pictures from the last month. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Monday, February 17, 2014

learning that parenthood is so bittersweet.

1 month and 4 months

I love watching her learn new things and am so excited for her to try foods, crawl, walk, talk to us, go get a manicure with me, etc. yet I hate seeing her grow up and wish I could freeze time and keep her in a little bubble at this age forever.
I will say though, hasn't she gotten cuter?! I thought she was just the prettiest thing at 1 month and now I think she's even prettier than I could have imagined. I'm just smitten by her.
{I will have her 4 month update up this week!}

Friday, February 14, 2014

learning to trust my mommy instincts.

If you read my blog when Miss Milania was first born, you probably remember our struggles with breastfeeding. I literally could not get her to latch on to save her life...

Two different people suggested that I looked for a tongue tie and/or lip tie. I only knew about a classic lip tie where the tip is tied down and realized she didn't have that, but after further inspection I became SURE she had a lip tie. I researched it and thought "yep, this is our problem." Well, I asked our home visit nurse to check for me and she said she wasn't sure, but the Dr. would know more at her appointment. I then asked the lactation consultant and also the Dr. shortly after who both said she had "something" there but that it wasn't an issue.

I eventually got her to latch on using a shield and she preferred this over bottles anyway so I just pushed the idea out of my head.

Fast forward a month...

I ask her pediatrician at her one month check up if she thinks her lip tie is a cause for concern. She basically said no and acted like it was nothing. I voiced my concerns about the future and problems associated with it but it seemed like nothing to her so once again I didn't think much else about it.

Then our thrush hit. She has been battling thrush (oral) for over a month now and I knew something had to be going on. We literally have done everything to get rid of it. I sanitize EVERYTHING after she uses it, do her medicine exactly like prescribed, etc. I was randomly Googling it one night to see what exactly causes it and if there was anything else I could do to get rid of it and wouldn't you know, this lip tie thing pops up again.

Apparently thrush is one of the symptoms of it, particularly thrush that won't go away. The other symptoms? All things she/I have! Reflux (she's on Prevacid), inability to take a pacifier, loss of milk while eating, clogged ducts/mastitis..the list goes on and on. Needless to say, I once again started researching it and by 8am the next morning I had made an appointment to get her checked out by an ENT and get this thing taken care of once and for all.
Long story short, we ended up at a dentist office who specializes in recognizing and revising both lip and tongue ties. Our Dr. confirmed that she indeed had not only the upper lip tie, but also a posterior tongue tie which is a little bit different than the traditional tongue tie most people are probably familiar with. Basically, when in the womb, everyone's tongue and lips are tied down but they eventually separate. Well, some people's don't and they remained tied..this was her. So her top lip didn't have the ability to flange out like it should (perhaps even do the "kissy face") and her tongue didn't have the mobility to sweep the top of the mouth like it should.
With that, we decided to have it revised.
Just for the record. If this was ONLY a breastfeeding issue, I would have not worried about it at all. Yes, we have struggled in this area but we have it figured out now to the point where it's at least working for us, even if we do have our bumps in the road. The problem, though, is that it is not just a temporary breastfeeding issue. A lip and tongue tie can cause several problems down the road including speech problems, reflux issues, gaps in teeth, tooth decay/cavities, loss of enamel, and digestion problems, which is why the decision was made to have it revised.
And now, Miss Milania is lip and tongue tie free!
The procedure only took about 2-3 minutes total (I didn't stay in the room with her). They used a laser and didn't sedate or even numb her, so of course that absolutely hurts me to even think about, but the long term affects of having these are far much worse. When I went back to get her she was obviously crying and very upset but I nursed her and within about 10 minutes she had fallen asleep. She was then woken up again by the Dr. who showed me how to do these stretches on the sites to ensure they don't reattach but after crying a bit more, she relaxed in the car and was actually calm, cool, and collected, for most of the car ride home.
I could tell she was in pain that night and the next night, but I'm happy to report she is doing fine now. And the best part? She can actually flange out her top lip like she is supposed to!
I'm glad we went through with it.
Brittney and Ryan sent these to Miss Milania. So thoughtful!
Lesson? Trust my mommy instincts. I KNEW she had this from the time she was a couple days old and no one seemed concerned. I knew there was a reason she wasn't latching on and was "a lazy eater" and that her lip looked different than it should. Looking back, I should have pushed a little harder and gotten this taken care of right away and not let them brush it off. Lesson learned.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

**Wordless Wednesday**

From this past weekend: Wedding Date