Continued from "Wedding Dress Fiasco (Part 1: The Good Day)
|I wish this pic were clearer because I kind of love it!|
After our night out and not stumbling in the door until 4am, I was drained the next morning and oddly enough, I couldn't sleep. As I lie in bed, so badly needing Tylenol and water, I started scrolling through pictures from the night and eventually got to the wedding dress pictures from the day before. I honestly had not looked at the pictures yet because we had gone straight out after shopping and I hadn't had time to REALLY look at them, but once I did, I got a weird feeling in my stomach.
I kept looking and looking at the pictures and just wasn't feeling "happy" like I felt I should be about looking at my wedding dress, but instead I was feeling somewhat disappointed in my choice (and the pictures) and confused as to why I felt this way. Did I not like my dress anymore? Were they just bad pictures? Was the lighting off, so it didn't look as pretty as I thought it did the day before? I tried pushing this thinking aside telling myself that I was just tired, hormonal, and hungover and that I would worry about it later, but that didn't work.
Before I knew it, I was literally bawling to Ryan telling him I didn't like my dress anymore and I didn't know why. I wouldn't show him the pictures of it (because I didn't want him to see me in it before "the big day") but he kept reassuring me if I liked it in the store it was surely beautiful on me. Seriously, he was being SO sweet and saying everything I wanted/needed to hear, but it just didn't seem like enough to make me quit crying.
I didn't know what else to do, so I started texting my cousins and bff telling them what was going on. Everyone's reactions were about the same. They all wanted to know WHY I didn't like it anymore and reassured me it was beautiful on and tried reminding me how happy I was when I found it and how my reaction was much different than all the other dresses. They were all so sweet and reassuring, just as Ryan was, but I was still upset.
I tried relaxing (even sleeping) for awhile and doing random things--probably blogging--but I couldn't seem to quit looking at the pictures in disappointment and feeling sad about it. Even with other distractions, I just couldn't get it off my mind.
Knowing my mom would be disappointed/maybe even frustrated, I broke down and called her eventually anyway; a mom knows best, right? As tears ran down my face and with no real explanation as to WHY I didn't like my dress, I waited for her to answer...
She immediately picked up and knew something was wrong. I instantly started sobbing (dramatic, right?) and telling her that I no longer liked my dress for some reason and I wasn't even sure why. She was so confused, but at the same time, she was so comforting. She kept prodding me with questions about why I didn't like it, and realizing I couldn't come up with an answer, she asked me what else was wrong. I explained to her that we had gone out the night before, I was hormonal (sorry), AND that I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep and I think I might have just been drained. With that, she told me I probably wasn't thinking clearly and that I needed to relax for awhile, not think about it, get some sleep, and then see how I feel.
And the best part??...if I still felt the same way and was still this upset in the morning, despite the money and time already invested, we would figure out something else. I hung up the phone feeling much more relaxed about the situation and just comforted.
So, I guess after talking to her, it wasn't the reassurance that the dress looked pretty that I needed, it was the reassurance that if I didn't like it, we would figure out another plan.
Knowing I was kind of on the fritz that entire day, Ryan and I spent the afternoon running errands and then the evening catching up on our shows. We even drove 25 miles just to get Chinese takeout for supper--that's how you KNOW he's a keeper :)
I went to bed that night still upset about my dress, but not nearly like I had felt that morning when I woke up. I knew that I would get some sleep that night knowing it would all get ironed out one way or another and it would all be just fine...
To be continued... (The final part will be posted later this week!)
**I just want to let you all know that I am fully aware that there are many/much more important things in life than finding the perfect wedding dress. And though it seems dramatic to be crying over such a silly thing, I know that whether or not I have the "right" dress that day is not one of life's biggest concerns, nor is it Ryan and I's. I just write these posts as a way for me to remember the exact set of events that happened during different stages of my life and/or events and as something to look back upon.
**to see more of my wedding planning, click here