Tuesday, July 24, 2012

...Wedding Dress Fiasco (Part 2: The Bad Day)

Continued from "Wedding Dress Fiasco (Part 1: The Good Day)

I wish this pic were clearer because I kind of love it!

After our night out and not stumbling in the door until 4am, I was drained the next morning and oddly enough, I couldn't sleep. As I lie in bed, so badly needing Tylenol and water, I started scrolling through pictures from the night and eventually got to the wedding dress pictures from the day before. I honestly had not looked at the pictures yet because we had gone straight out after shopping and I hadn't had time to REALLY look at them, but once I did, I got a weird feeling in my stomach.

I kept looking and looking at the pictures and just wasn't feeling "happy" like I felt I should be about looking at my wedding dress, but instead I was feeling somewhat disappointed in my choice (and the pictures) and confused as to why I felt this way. Did I not like my dress anymore? Were they just bad pictures? Was the lighting off, so it didn't look as pretty as I thought it did the day before? I tried pushing this thinking aside telling myself that I was just tired, hormonal, and hungover and that I would worry about it later, but that didn't work.

Before I knew it, I was literally bawling to Ryan telling him I didn't like my dress anymore and I didn't know why. I wouldn't show him the pictures of it (because I didn't want him to see me in it before "the big day") but he kept reassuring me if I liked it in the store it was surely beautiful on me. Seriously, he was being SO sweet and saying everything I wanted/needed to hear, but it just didn't seem like enough to make me quit crying.

I didn't know what else to do, so I started texting my cousins and bff telling them what was going on. Everyone's reactions were about the same. They all wanted to know WHY I didn't like it anymore and reassured me it was beautiful on and tried reminding me how happy I was when I found it and how my reaction was much different than all the other dresses. They were all so sweet and reassuring, just as Ryan was, but I was still upset.

I tried relaxing (even sleeping) for awhile and doing random things--probably blogging--but I couldn't seem to quit looking at the pictures in disappointment and feeling sad about it. Even with other distractions, I just couldn't get it off my mind.
Knowing my mom would be disappointed/maybe even frustrated, I broke down and called her eventually anyway; a mom knows best, right? As tears ran down my face and with no real explanation as to WHY I didn't like my dress, I waited for her to answer...

She immediately picked up and knew something was wrong. I instantly started sobbing (dramatic, right?) and telling her that I no longer liked my dress for some reason and I wasn't even sure why. She was so confused, but at the same time, she was so comforting. She kept prodding me with questions about why I didn't like it, and realizing I couldn't come up with an answer, she asked me what else was wrong. I explained to her that we had gone out the night before, I was hormonal (sorry), AND that I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep and I think I might have just been drained. With that, she told me I probably wasn't thinking clearly and that I needed to relax for awhile, not think about it, get some sleep, and then see how I feel.

And the best part??...if I still felt the same way and was still this upset in the morning, despite the money and time already invested, we would figure out something else. I hung up the phone feeling much more relaxed about the situation and just comforted.

So, I guess after talking to her, it wasn't the reassurance that the dress looked pretty that I needed, it was the reassurance that if I didn't like it, we would figure out another plan.

Knowing I was kind of on the fritz that entire day, Ryan and I spent the afternoon running errands and then the evening catching up on our shows. We even drove 25 miles just to get Chinese takeout for supper--that's how you KNOW he's a keeper :)

I went to bed that night still upset about my dress, but not nearly like I had felt that morning when I woke up. I knew that I would get some sleep that night knowing it would all get ironed out one way or another and it would all be just fine...

To be continued... (The final part will be posted later this week!)

**I just want to let you all know that I am fully aware that there are many/much more important things in life than finding the perfect wedding dress. And though it seems dramatic to be crying over such a silly thing, I know that whether or not I have the "right" dress that day is not one of life's biggest concerns, nor is it Ryan and I's. I just write these posts as a way for me to remember the exact set of events that happened during different stages of my life and/or events and as something to look back upon.

**to see more of my wedding planning, click here

Thursday, July 19, 2012

...Wedding Dress Fiasco (Part 1: The Good Day)

The story of me, my bridesmaids, my mother, and my wedding dress(es)..

Thank you Cass, for your photography abilities--I LOVE this picture!!

First, let me give you a little background. Admittedly, I AM the girl that has always dreamed about her wedding day. I remember my sister and I once using a cardboard box in the back yard when we were probably 6-7 years old as an altar to get married in front of. We used dandelions as bouquets and imagined that our raggedy sundresses were elegant gowns...yes, I'm THAT girl. I've always dreamed about how I would decorate, where it would be, who I would have standing beside me (and with me, for that matter), etc. What I've never been sure of though, is what kind of dress I wanted exactly..seems weird, right? Even up until walking in the door to find the dress for my special day, I didn't have ANY idea of what I wanted. In my opinion, the dress a woman chooses should be based on several factors and not just a childhood dream, which has always left me somewhat confused on what I would deem perfect.

A few months back, I had scheduled several appointments for the last Saturday of June to go wedding dress shopping. Of course this is a HUGE deal to any bride and I was literally excited for the appointment for a solid 6 weeks before. What made it even more exciting is that every.single.bridesmaid was going to be there for it, as was my mother; I could barely contain myself.

Once the day finally arrived, I gathered up my two bridesmaids that were in town with me and we set out to find "THE dress." When we arrived at our first appointment, my other bridesmaids were already waiting for us and my mother and sister were right behind us.

I didn't know what to expect, but we got straight to business picking out dresses and getting my measurements taken. Once I had several dresses ready to try on, my sister and I started the daunting task of finding the hole in each one to peek my head through, pulling layers and layers of tulle over my head, and deciding which of 300 buttons we actually wanted to do up to get the full effect. Sounds fun, right?

Wrong. Girls, let me tell you, this process is NOT as sweet as they make it look on television. Unless of course you think tight spaces, leg sweat and garment bags that are as long as a 5k are sweet, this is nowhere near as glamorous as TLC makes it look.

Ok, so what was the problem? First of all, the dressing rooms at some of the shops are literally like 4x4...not big enough for one person in a wedding dress, let alone two and multiple dresses lining the wall. And a fluffy dress? Forget it. Besides that, the dressing room at the first place we went to didn't even have mirrors in it! Granted, the store is lined with mirrors but how awkward?! I need a mirror when I buy a $5 tank top at Target, so why would I not need one when I'm trying on a wedding dress?! So literally, my reaction to every dress was first based on everyone else's reaction who was waiting to see me in it, because they saw me in the dress before I saw me in the dress...with me? SO strange.

But because I was so excited to be dress shopping, had everyone who I love with me, and got to be a princess for a day...we kind of laughed our way through the first appointment. I mean, things get pretty personal when one of your bridesmaids is sticking their hand down your underwear and the other is literally looking up your dress trying to find all the hidden tulle. How can you NOT laugh about that?

But after all the giggles and not being able to find one I really liked (This may sound silly but they all felt kind of "cheap" to me--even the dress I had literally had my eyes on for MONTHS just didn't live up to standards, as much as I wished it had) my mom suggested we all take a break and took us all to lunch. We all relaxed in a big open room, a/c, and got our bellies full before heading to the next stop.

At our next appointment, I think I fell in love when I walked in the door. This bridal shop was everything I had ever imaged a bridal shop to me. They had HUGE dressing rooms that were lined with wall-high mirrors, a pedestal in the center for me to stand on, fancy curtains that open and shut, and the cutest little sofa's for all the bridesmaids/family to sit on and wait. Besides all that, I got paired with THE sweetest consultant ever. She was SO kind to all of us, very attentive, patient, and just friendly in general.


She led to me where they had their dresses stored and, as if I could be any more impressed, I was. They had all of their dresses hung up perfectly under each designer's name in the cutest little "closet" looking setup. Basically, it was ANY girls dream come true...not just a bride's--who wouldn't want their closet organized by designer if given the choice?!

After picking out a few dresses I liked, we stocked my dressing room and I began the process of trying them on, getting them all tied up, and standing on the pedestal like a little barbie (only not at all) waiting for my big debut and the curtain to open.

I felt more comfortable here for some reason and was really into the process a lot more. I'm not sure if it was the atmosphere or the fact that I had caffeine in me, but either way, I was loving it. AND, I was really liking more of the dresses here than at the previous stop and though I hadn't LOVED one at this point, I was definitely liking the designers they carried here more as well.

**Also, I learned that if you used the same designer, you could mix and match tops from one dress to the bottom of another. Or backs from one, to the back of another..if that makes sense. Basically, you could build your own if you chose.

Finally, I tried on the second dress I had picked out (leaving just one more left to try on--this is a key part of this story!) and fell in love. I loved the way it fit--it flattered all the right areas, I loved it's long train, and I loved the all over rhinestone/embroidery design. It was perfect. And, everyone else seemed to like it too...double plus! I kept it on for awhile, walked around with it, tried on different veils, and then finally decided it was THE one...after hours of dress shopping, "I said YES to the dress!"

Realizing I still had one dress left to try on but knowing I had the one I wanted, I quickly brushed away the last dress and cancelled the other appointment of the day...I had found THE ONE.
My mom went up front to order and pay for it (which you don't have to do at this particular place until you take the dress home, but I was SO sure I wanted it, that we just did it right away) and the girls and I celebrated me finding the one and how easy it was and how short the day actually ended up being! We waltzed around the store a bit looking at other items and then called it a day. I felt like I was glowing...I had found my dress with the help of my very best friends; it was such a great feeling!

After saying goodbye to everyone, the three of us who rode together got in the car and that was ALL I could think about--how happy I was to have my dress and how beautiful I felt in it! Rachel even asked me "how I knew it was the one" and I couldn't give her a real description because I wasn't sure. I just said it felt right, when the others didn't, and immediately went into telling her about my engagement ring and how I just knew this was the ring I was supposed to wear for the rest of my life--cheesy, right? :)

After the wedding talk quieted down a bit, we decided we needed to go have some celebratory drinks so we took Cass home to get changed and dolled up and then headed out for the evening. One drink turned into two, and before we knew it, we were lining up shots on the bar and taking them all in honor of me finding the dress--perfect excuse.

And then the next day happened...

To be continued...

**To see more of my wedding/engagement things, click here**